Why I do the Kinky Carnival
By Teri D. Ciacchi MSW
(206) 612-3511
Kinky Carnival 2008: A safe tradition to explore new territory:
A few people have asked me why I keep doing the Carnival. The following is my story of creating and continuing this unique event. The Kinky Carnival is a specific time and place for sensual experimentation that does not require a change in one’s entire identity. The purpose of the Kinky Carnival is to create a safe place of temporary, un-stigmatized, sensual exploration which gives the general public access to sexual experiences without the need to change their identities and lifestyle.
Safety First:
This event is safe for all adults; Kinky Carnival is a safe, fun sexy playground for people over 18. The Kinky Carnival has become an outgrowth of the classes and workshops I teach through my TerraFire Academy of Aphrodisiacal Living. My life’s work is to more fully create and express a healing sex positive culture that is respectful and empowering for all people. The focus of this work and Carnival is to make sexual liberation more accessible and inviting for everyone. When you enter the Kinky Carnival, you will be greeted by an Erotic Ambassador and will get a tour so you feel welcome. The space will be well-lit, clean and beautiful. There will be an altar for the Goddess Aphrodite in the entrance way for this is a sacred, sex-positive environment. The booths will be set up along the path of a labyrinth that reveals one space at a time to the participants. You will be free to wander after this brief tour.
Community Building:
I am intentionally having different people from different areas of the sex-positive subcultures work together to create different booths. This intention is to contribute to the creation of a stronger sense of community, acceptance, and belonging. This experience has contributed, and will continue to expand, healing and connection between these small groups.
Being sexy can be difficult in a sex negative culture:
In general our mainstream culture has difficulty with the entire topic of sex. Differentiations between sex and intimacy, between lust and love have collapsed. People are not skilled in communication, negotiation and other relationship building skills. Intimacy is seen as frightening and difficult to manage. Owning desire is frequently seen as a weakness, and desire is framed as dangerous and suspect. It can be problematic to gain enough experience to feel accomplished in performing specific sexual acts. Sex is often performed rather than co-created.
Our culture is so sex-negative, emotionally aversive and body phobic that it largely denies people access to sexual experimentation outside of paid interactions with sex workers. In fact, I suggest that the entire Sex Industry exists in part because of the open hostility toward sexual behaviors outside of the intent to procreate. Sexual behaviors are heavily policed through laws that criminalize consensual behaviors between adults. Guilt, shame and embarrassment create a cloud of confusion that makes it difficult for individuals to explore and act on fantasies and desires that may seem to go against the “norm.” Meanwhile, pornography is a multi-million dollar industry.
Something is wrong here. If a person does decide that their interest in sexual exploration is strong enough for them to openly declare it, they are often forced to endure stigma and even lose rights and privileges that others can continue to take for granted. Sex-positive movement and culture are working to right this wrong, and the Kinky Carnival is an opening at a right turn toward more full experiences of humanity, sex acts and all.
Thank you for taking the time to read about my intention and hopes for the Kinky Carnival. In addition to offering the benefits of safe, supported exploration, the proceeds from this event will also benefit women who have survived uterine cancer and efforts to continue our deep, satisfying, sexual healing.
